wowweee... havn't blogged in an uber-long time... =) so... august has come and gone and september's now here... ooOOoo.. fun, right??? RIGHT??? i really don't know what to say... i dun even know what's going thru my head much less what'z going on around me. went to york frosh today... i must say it wuzn't the best experience in the world... it wasn't the worst or nething... but nothing really memorable happened.. =P now i kinda get why people just go and get drunk @ frosh week... cuz seriously, i think thaz like the only way u can have fun at frosh.
then again, i could just be cynical...i mean today WAS the first day... and well i hardly met anyone... i met two of becca's friends... but no one new really. and well i guess it somewhat makes sense, cuz u really meet the people when classes start and what not, right? and if i REALLY wanted to meet people and have the whole university experience then i woulda lived on res... or at least went for the sleepovers during frosh week. *sigh* so weird to be thinkin of myself as a frosh. in my l'il head, i'm barely a teenager... but in reality i'm almost done my teenage yearz... mad freaky!!!
so wat can i say about my day at york??? hmmm... lemme see if i can just list a buncha words that relate...
i felt
... bored ...
... lost ...
... out of place ...
... misfitted ...
... young ...
... small ...
... short ...
... shy ...
... tired ...
... anti-social ...
... in pain (3 canker sores =P ) ...
... vulnerable ...
the last one is especially true. i guess never have i been in sucha situation where failure was so very possible and i really need to open up again and put myself out there in order to meet people. it's like i can't really be shy, or else i'd go through my university life without talking to a single soul outside of classes... and well, that's not really cool. wells, today has come and gone... and well, it waz truthfully kinda a snore.. maybe it's cuz it's a different bunch of people... a diff type of people... most of whom are probably non-c... making it a l'il harder to relate to them... and a lot of second hand smoke too!! grrr... anywayz... praying and hoping that the other dayz i make it out to frosh a l'il better than this one... and definitely praying that the school year is much better.... *sigh* highschool dayz are over... i miss my friends... i walk around the halls and i know no one and no one knowz me... itz so different all of a sudden... *sigh*
welps, enuff venting for now.... be back with univ updates later i guess... =)
*hazel needs to grow up*
then again, i could just be cynical...i mean today WAS the first day... and well i hardly met anyone... i met two of becca's friends... but no one new really. and well i guess it somewhat makes sense, cuz u really meet the people when classes start and what not, right? and if i REALLY wanted to meet people and have the whole university experience then i woulda lived on res... or at least went for the sleepovers during frosh week. *sigh* so weird to be thinkin of myself as a frosh. in my l'il head, i'm barely a teenager... but in reality i'm almost done my teenage yearz... mad freaky!!!
so wat can i say about my day at york??? hmmm... lemme see if i can just list a buncha words that relate...
... bored ...
... lost ...
... out of place ...
... misfitted ...
... young ...
... small ...
... short ...
... shy ...
... tired ...
... anti-social ...
... in pain (3 canker sores =P ) ...
... vulnerable ...
the last one is especially true. i guess never have i been in sucha situation where failure was so very possible and i really need to open up again and put myself out there in order to meet people. it's like i can't really be shy, or else i'd go through my university life without talking to a single soul outside of classes... and well, that's not really cool. wells, today has come and gone... and well, it waz truthfully kinda a snore.. maybe it's cuz it's a different bunch of people... a diff type of people... most of whom are probably non-c... making it a l'il harder to relate to them... and a lot of second hand smoke too!! grrr... anywayz... praying and hoping that the other dayz i make it out to frosh a l'il better than this one... and definitely praying that the school year is much better.... *sigh* highschool dayz are over... i miss my friends... i walk around the halls and i know no one and no one knowz me... itz so different all of a sudden... *sigh*
welps, enuff venting for now.... be back with univ updates later i guess... =)
'kay... this isn't really anything deep or nething like that.. just felt like typing... and since ther's no one really home or available to talk to at nite, then i figured i'd just ramble on here in my blog! =) so.. this is me... and how i'm feeling...
i am
... tired ...
... exhausted ...
... injured ...
... a l'il frustrated ...
... missin someone (smo) ...
... happy ...
... thankful ...
... joyful ...
... bruised up ...
... sleepy ...
... blessed ...
yep.. that just about wraps it up... =)
... tired ...
... exhausted ...
... injured ...
... a l'il frustrated ...
... missin someone (smo) ...
... happy ...
... thankful ...
... joyful ...
... bruised up ...
... sleepy ...
... blessed ...
yep.. that just about wraps it up... =)
1 corinthians 6:11
it's so awesome to know how forgiving God really is. honestly.... we're so... well i know i'm so unworthy to be standing in His presence, fellowshiping with His children (and my basics), leading worship, playing the piano for worship... and just a whole load of things in His ministry. so i really don't have any right to be ther... cuz well i'm one messed up kid... =P yet...by His mercy and grace He lets me serve Him in those ministries... and not just that, but He draws me closer to Him thru those activities, events, people, etc... still reveling in the fact that i actually AM santified, justified and washed in His blood... doesn't really make sense, but then again, if it did make sense then it wouldn't mean as much...
anyhoo... havn't blogged in a super-long time.... not that i havn't had anything to say or nething... itz more that i kinda forgot that i have this l'il blog thingy... hheheeh.. and i'm not too sure hw many ppl read this anyway, but meh... if u are reading this... THANK YOU!!! hehehehe... dunno why u'd be interested in the twisted workings of my l'il brain, but thx for reading... =D hmm... wat else was i gonna say? ohhhh!!! i have soooo many things to do in august it's ridiculous!!! waaahhh!!! i'm working so much cuz we're like mad short-staffed @ mitchells... so there are a couple of weeks where i'm working 5/6 possible dayz... *sigh* summer's going by way too fast.... and in addition to that ther's my gr.10 piano exam too! eeekkk!!! but God's got something to say about my laziness to practice piano.. believe it or not, i was reading the Book and i stumbled across this... and it's sooo direct that it's kinda freaky and funnie all at the same time...
2 corinthians 8:11
now thinking back... i wanted to take piano SOOOO much when i wuz little and now i'm like bleh about finishing it... =P so that wuz basically a big *SMACK* frum God... but much needed... newayz... i still have much to say about what's been goin on this past month or so... but i got work in about an hour or so and ther's still a ton of stuff that i gotta get done... *sigh* growing up really bites sumtimes... nehooo... 'nuff frum me for now... i should blog more often rather than just taking up precious internet space... =)
"These people come near to me with their mouth
and honor me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me.
Their worship of me
is made up only of rules taught by men."
God is phenomenal. there really isn't anything else to say. He never ceases to amaze. youth on a hill's second event was last nite... still continuing with the vision of revival through unity we all got together at mel lastman square and really just celebrated what God's been doin in our school fellowships all around Toronto, and even outside the GTA region. last nite, God made some radical changes to how things are done by the youth in toronto. i dunno how many people stepped up to the call put before them to live the difference and to be the light in the darkness and not the light in the light, but i know it really challenged me to do something... to be something out of the ordinary and not just to be complacent (thanks kat!) with how things are going around me. amazing things happened last nite... people from my school who u would never expect to see @ an event like this were there.. and not just for the food... but for the service too. itz crazie.... i literally just stood there after the service in shock that these two guyz from my school showed up for the rally.. they are like the last people on earth you'd expect to see there, yet they were there... getting some extra hot dogs... and they didn't just pass by, but they were there from the service. crazie....
and so i wuz helping out with the worship team and well pride's a really REALLY big issue when u're gonna be on stage... and i've just been asking God to break me down and literally make me nothing... and boy did He do that! singing "here i am to worship" my legs went all trembly and i could barely stand. God just showed me that i was put on this earth to worship Him. everything else, all the free food, all the friends, entertainment, fun, etc.. thaz all just a bonus... my main purpose is to worship Him and bring the glory back to Him. i was really challenged to mean what i say when i sing "here i am to worship/here i am to bow down/here i am to say that you're my God/" i'm still in awe and speechless over what happened last nite... God's gonna be doin some prettie amazing things in the dayz to come, and ir eally can't wait to see what He's gonna do in all the different christian fellowships next year... whooo!!! anywayz.. pointless for me to keep rambling... still exhausted, but exhilirated all at the same time... God is GOOODD...=)
oh my goodness... tonite's gotta be one of the most memorable nites of my life... like seriously. just goin out and chillin with my friends for a belated birthday celebration... something i'll never forget... it wuz so much fun, and even tho i didn't have a camera to snap all the pix.... itz gonna be forever embedded in my head. all the laughs that we had tonite and all the memoriez shared.. and just the time spent together... gonna miss all that when we're all off to univ... itz gonna be mad hard to get together again for birthday parties and stuff... esp when the birthdays are scattered all over the year and everyone's off to diff places... *sniff sniff* but i've been gettin some prettie sage advice i guess, 'bout learnin to let go and move on and just give thanks for the time that i DID get with 'em. *sigh* growin up just bites sometimes...=P
anywayz... as cliche as it seemz... as school officially ends, one chapter's ending and another one's beginning. itz weird to think that i'm gonna go to school next september and not know ANYONE in any of my classes. don't know how i'm gonna survive. itz like all of a sudden i hafta go thru the whole process of making friends and building those friendshipz all over again.. i mean i already went thru nine yearz of that in elementary, and another four in highschool.. and here comes another four...gotta put myself out ther again, let myself be vulnerable and just learn to trust more i guess... yet be careful all at the same time as to who i associate with.
so anywayz.. 'nuff sad reminiscing for a while.. tonite wuz a blast... from the dinner and the punches... to the dessert and the moose hat... to driving around tryin to find a place that'll seat 12-14 people, and ending up at metro playing cards (PIG and Big Two) and doing dares... all of it wuz a blast... i think i killed my abs just laughing my head off tonite, but it wuz worth it... all the stress and all that wuz worth it just to have this time to spend with my friends... i really hope we all get together again during the summer.. i'd really hate to lose the friendships that we all had throughout the four years of highschool. they've taught me so much and i know that ther's still tonz to learn.. but i guess thaz all in God's hands, i mean it'z really impossible to stay friends with ur highschool crew when u're all off to diff univ/colleges and u're all doin different thingz, meeting diff people.. but hey.. what'z impossible with men is possible with God, right? =) *sigh* life's good... too fast tho...
anywayz, my eyes are barely stayin open and i still have work tmw, so i'm off to bed.... it wuz fun... tonite wuz a blast... a memorable nite... praisin God for all my friends and all the blessings He's imparted to me.. ones that i truly don't deserve.. but God's good to me like that... PRAISE GOD!
*thankin Him for all He's given*
anywayz... as cliche as it seemz... as school officially ends, one chapter's ending and another one's beginning. itz weird to think that i'm gonna go to school next september and not know ANYONE in any of my classes. don't know how i'm gonna survive. itz like all of a sudden i hafta go thru the whole process of making friends and building those friendshipz all over again.. i mean i already went thru nine yearz of that in elementary, and another four in highschool.. and here comes another four...gotta put myself out ther again, let myself be vulnerable and just learn to trust more i guess... yet be careful all at the same time as to who i associate with.
so anywayz.. 'nuff sad reminiscing for a while.. tonite wuz a blast... from the dinner and the punches... to the dessert and the moose hat... to driving around tryin to find a place that'll seat 12-14 people, and ending up at metro playing cards (PIG and Big Two) and doing dares... all of it wuz a blast... i think i killed my abs just laughing my head off tonite, but it wuz worth it... all the stress and all that wuz worth it just to have this time to spend with my friends... i really hope we all get together again during the summer.. i'd really hate to lose the friendships that we all had throughout the four years of highschool. they've taught me so much and i know that ther's still tonz to learn.. but i guess thaz all in God's hands, i mean it'z really impossible to stay friends with ur highschool crew when u're all off to diff univ/colleges and u're all doin different thingz, meeting diff people.. but hey.. what'z impossible with men is possible with God, right? =) *sigh* life's good... too fast tho...
anywayz, my eyes are barely stayin open and i still have work tmw, so i'm off to bed.... it wuz fun... tonite wuz a blast... a memorable nite... praisin God for all my friends and all the blessings He's imparted to me.. ones that i truly don't deserve.. but God's good to me like that... PRAISE GOD!
nine years of elementary school
eleven years of spiritual life
eighteen years of life
... many more years to come ...
it's crazie how fast time flies by.... can't believe highschool's over and done with, and i can't believe that i'm already eighteen. it's really insane... seriously... i don't even FEEL eighteen... then again, i didn't feel seventeen either. and now, just like that i'm off to university (gonna get stepped on!!! eeekk!! =P) itz strange... this feeling that thingz are done and over with... and yah, all throughout the four years, i probably griped on more than one occassion how i wish highschool was all over and what not cuz of all the work, but truthfully, they were definitely memorable years... lotsa ups, many more downs... but i made it out alive... thaz the point i guess... after all, what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger, right? meh... brings tearz to think of everyone goin off and doin their own thing in their own place at their own time... well technically God's time.. but you know...=/
*sigh* so yesterday i went to pick up my yearbook and was flipping thru it when it hit me... this is like the last high school yearbook i'm ever gonna have!!! *tear drop falls* and as i wuz lookin thru all the pix and all the grad stuff... it hit me again... i can't believe i'm actually in the graduates section! i'm alwayz accustomed to seeing my tiny l'il pic buried among all the other ones in the undergrads section... and now i have my own l'il box thingy with my final words and my quotes and info and stuff... scary... i'm so used to reading other ppl's grad comments from years before... like my older friends...and yet.. lo and behold... i'm the one making the comments this time... scarrrriiieee!!!! *sigh* to add on to it, i was out in the commons where all the twelves were chilling and signing bookz and what not and i realized that this is like the last time that we'll all be huddled in a corner of the commons signing each other's bookz... =( mmm... makes the heart ache and the head hurt sometimes to think of where we'll all be next year... all diff universities, all diff programs, all different walks of life...=/
but i guess u don't really cling to the past... u live for the moment and see what else God's got planned for you... still can't believe i've made it this far with all the blessingz He's given me... and i have the nerve to complain???? eekk... wow... i just got a good God-smack... update on examz... cal-q-lus was deadly, but all the other examz were good... PRAISE GOD... =) nehowz.. off to school.... gotta get my yearbook signed and run a few errands.... GOD IS GOOD....
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